This is a topic I have started over and over, but deleated several times. But, then I thought, why not? So, here it goes....
I was watching an interview today, and someone said "Studies have shown bullies only bully 'unpopuliar kids'" I in turn said "NO! Say it isn't so! Are people THAT BLIND they NEED to do a study?! Sad...very very sad"
Here is why I say that. I am a parent of a child who has spent most of his life being bullied by his peers. From being physically hit, sucker punched, pushed, to others spitting in his food when he got up to get a napking or whatever and they mixed it into the food. Would you believe that a kid took the mouthpiece to his clarinet and put it down his own pants and returned it? It did. How gross is that? The result, my son is very shy, a home body really. He is affraid to put himself out there, and make new friends. A senior who doesn't want anything to do with school. Hates being there, but at the same time, he doesn't like to miss a class. He is very grade conscience, especially because he will be attending college in the fall. Altho, he lacks self confidence. Whenever we say something possitive, he always respond with "ahh you're just being nice." or "so and so is just agreeing with you".
In my experiences, bullying happens because it is allowed. These kids are not "the populiar kids" but are populiar for being bullies. These are the kids that have behavioral problems. They know who to pick on. Usually the ones who won't or can't fight back. We have what is called "No Child Left Behind Act" which overshadows "0 Tolerance" the school preaches. The result, the kids that want to do well, learn, are the ones who are left behind. Too many times, teachers are made to stop class, and wait until these kids settle down, never really addressing the problem. There have been times these kids threw furniture. I've always wondered whether or not these kids really have behavioral problems, or just not taught what is acceptable. I know that doesn't really happen in school. One of the things we've been told is that teachers cannot send kids to the principals office because it makes them look bad, and they could loose their jobs. Another thing I was told was "they are working behind the scenes" with these kids. Really? So is that suppose to make it OK that they don't address a situation or problem when it occures? Truth be told, because nothing is being done whether it be because the teacher is affraid of loosing their job, are "working behind the scenes", they are allowing the bullies to do what they do best.
Parents of bullied children/teens see what happens to other bullied children/teens, validating their fears as this issue has come to the forefront in the news. It is so sad that it had to take several tragic endings to make people realize how serious this issue is.