Going Home

Driving in my home town, I was amazed at how much it has changed. I drove past my childhood home. It has a new address. There are 27 steps that lead up to what use to be the front, with what use to be beautiful lawn along side, and beautiful bushes at the top. At the top of the stairs is now a tall fence. The bushes are no longer beautiful, the lawn along the stairs has been ignored. Today the front faces the circle. It has a small wooden deck in the middle of two sets of stairs. Gives that side of the house, a new dimention to it.

From there I drove the route I use to take to high school, and to The Armory where I use to go for drum corp practices. I was stunned to see the music store was torn down! I use to go there for all my musical needs, and even had lessons. I was told that was going to be used for the state college a couple miles up the road.

The high school is no longer the high school, but now a middle school. There is a newly built high school in another part of town. I use to be a member of the Alumni Band. Eventually, we would practice there. We were given a tour. It is nice and all, just not the same.

The Armory we use to practice drum corp, is now The Senior Center. It also houses a Veterans Services Office. I went there with my mother. I walked thru the halls, pointing out to her what rooms were used for, and where the different offices were. It has been refurbished, and some of the rooms no longer excist. After seeing The Armory, we drove past a field where I practiced with the drum corp. The field is no longer there. Instead, it is a beautiful gated condo community. Those condos have been there for several years now.

From there, we drove by what use to be known as Whalom Park Amusement Park. Yup, you guessed it! All the rides have been taken down, and condos are being built.

It has been said "you can't go home". With everything I saw that day, you could say that is true. However, for me, "going home" has been the memories of what was. Have you been able to "go home" again?

Me...Bragging!

I haven't been in here for a while. I have been extremely busey with my sons graduation, and everything that goes along with that. Where did the time go? In the blink of an eye, my beautiful baby boy became this amazing young man. I sat in the schools gym for Graduation Day, as my baby marched in wearing his cap and gown.
I thought of the days I use to rock him to sleep. Once he was asleep, I would just look at him in wonderment. What will he want to do with his life?
I thought of those Christmas' he would wake everyone because Santa came.
Even his first day camp experience. I went to pick him up from camp. The kids were playing a game of basketball. He was thrown, and caught the ball. Saw everyone on one end of the court, and decided to run the other way. When asked why he ran the other way, he just said "If I went the other way, the kids would get the ball away! I wanted to try to get a point!" I sure do miss the innocence of those times.
As much as I miss those times, I'm enjoying these days just as much. You see, he is an amazing young man! A person who believes in working for what you have. The proof is in the pudding. He received not one, not two, but THREE schollarships!! He received a metal for Tri M Honor Society! Even from up in the bleachers, I could see the pride he had in his accomplishments. As are his parents!!
On Saturday, we are celebrating his 19th birthday. A few short weeks after that, he starts college. A man working twards the goals he set for himself. This exciting new chapter, I have the privledge to watch. I get to be cheer him on, help him up when he falls, and of course, pat him on the back for a job well done. Life doesn't get any better than that!

Beautiful Outdoors Wedding

My husband and I will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary in July. Our wedding was amazing. I always wanted a family affair. All the nieces and nephews showed up at the reception, a few went to the church. One of the nieces at the reception was only eight months old.
Talk about a surreal moment. There I was, yesterday, at that eight month old babys' wedding. Where did the time go? She looked so beautiful!! When the bride and groom made their way to our table, I could see the excitement, and happiness in her eyes. All the time remembering my own wedding and how she was just a baby.
The wedding was a beautiful outdoors wedding. Like me, she had a family affair. She is one of four girls. Her sisters were all in her wedding. They too, looked so beautiful in their gowns. I watched my brother, father of the bride, as he let his first born go. All the time realizing, the letting go we, as parents go thru. I have to admit, I was OK until, he danced with his beautiful daughter for the father/daughter dance. They danced to "I Loved Her First"? A country song, that always brings me to tears. Yesterday was no different. The song started, and the flood gates opened!
But, all in all, everyone had a wonderful time. We were all excited for the bride and groom as they start their life together.

"FLUFFY"

After reading anothers' blog, I was inspired!
I have my wedding picture hanging on my living room wall. Friends came over for a bit. As they were leaving, one of them asked "Whose wedding picture?"

me: "That is my wedding picture."

friend: "No, really. Who is it?"

me: "Look again!"

That went on for a some time. Finally he says, "Oh! That IS you! I can see you were kind of pretty back then."

OUCH! To which I responded "As opposed to what? I'm a DOG now? Thank you for noticing!"

Today, the person who made that comment to me, has since gain quite a bit of weight. Karma, a wonderful thing.

Over the years, I've battled the buldge. I've tried all sorts of diets. I always had the same problem. I would reach my goal weight. When I went on the diet that should maintain the goal weight, I gained everything back and then some. Finally, I went to my primary doctor for help. My doctor never holds anything back, and tells it straight. He told me all those diets I have tried don't work. Think about it. If they did, they would not be in business for very long. Loosing more than 2 pounds a week is not healthy. These diets claim satisfaction of loosing quite a bit in a short time. So, he and I had an arrangement. I would go see him once a month for a weigh in. If I lost four pounds, the visit was free. If I lost less than four, but still lost, I only paid half. If I gained, I would pay full price.
I didn't pay. How did I do it? Honestly, I don't know! But, I managed to get down to a size 8! OK, so that only lasted approximately four years. About four years after my wedding, I found out I was pregnant. I gained 150 pounds in nine months! I never saw size 8 again. Took me about a year for me to reach a size 12. I would walk three miles a day, and on rainy days, I would work out to those excercise tapes.
Today, I am no longer a size 12. I am a size 2. Let me explain. I recently went to Fashion Bug. I needed something to wear for a wedding. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that they now carry plus sizes. Their sizes are different than what they use to be. What is normally a 16/18 pant, is now a size 2! For a minute, I allowed myself to feel good about my size. I came back to reality when I saw the shirt sizes. Those sizes didn't change. In the end, I felt good about what I bought.
I will never be a size 8 again. I am finally OK with that. I can no longer excercise, but, I do eat healthy...I don't cook with oil, and have fresh veggies and fruits. Every once in a blue moon, I will splurge...red velvet cake, or a cheese cake...YUM!
I never like to use the terms, overweight, or fat, etc...I am "FLUFFY" and ya know, that's OK!

A Sons Dream

We had to go to parent/teacher conferences Thursday evening. It was the very last parent/teacher conference. We were given yet another confirmation that he will be graduating in June. There were a few new teachers this time around. This school year is the first year for a couple of teachers. One of which told us she wouldn't be surprised to turn on her tv one night a couple years from now, and see our son as a new comedian..the next Jon Stewart, or even Bill Mahar. She had no idea that his dream is to be a comedy writer/comedian/actor. In fact, he worked as an unpaid extra over the summer in a movie. In the fall he will start college, majoring in Theater.
Those that know my son, may think this is quite the stretch. Even I have a hard time picturing this dream becoming reality. Then again, he is my son. Which means he has the strength of my moms side, and the stubborness of my dads side. Plus, he has the ability to dream big, while at the same time, being cautious, on my husbands side. So, making that dream a reality may not be that far fetched. Personally, I am routing for him.
We spend our weekends watching stand up comics from George Carlin to The Blue Collar Guys, and half hour sit coms...Two And A Half Men, Everybody Loves Raymond, Reba to name a few. He watches every show as if he is studying for a final exam. I usually spend most of the time watching him. He will mime and act along. He even watches the bonus features...listens to the naratives about certain episodes, and watches those episodes again. Trying to see whatever it was they were talking about, and how they made it work.
Come June my baby boy will graduate high school. As much as I am looking forward to his graduation, I miss the days of having that baby boy who use to love to fall asleep in my arms. Today, I am the proud parent of this amazing young man. A young man I have the priviled of being there as he makes his way in this next chapter in his life.

Easter Memory

This morning, I refused to watch the news, and I will not watch it at all today. I'm having to good of a day. I woke up, got my husband off to work, and my son off to school, continued with my normal morning routine. Finally, the sun is shining! Received a phone call with plans for Easter Sunday. We will be going to my sister in laws house. I was told it was a pot luck, red neck dinner. I am in charge of the bread and salad. I'm thinking of peparoni bread, and italian bread. Now, I'm not baking the bread from scratch. I take a tube of Pilsbury Italian bread, unroll it, fill it with peparoni, and roll it back up, and bake. It will go well with the spaghetti and meatballs. Don't you think?
Of course, I lost track as to WHEN Easter Sunday is. It got me thinking what we can do for my son this Easter. We have an agreement, that he earns certain things by doing his best in school. Which, in turn, will show with his grades. When my son was younger, we would have a mini egg hunt, using those plastic eggs. On small pieces of paper, we would write a place(ie..check the washing machine. Inside that egg, the paper would read..go inside Dads car) and stick in inside the egg. It was great watching him go all over the house, and outside. The last egg would always say, "Check under your bed!" You would think he'd have caught on. Either he truly never did, or he was enjoying the egg hunt just as much as we were. Under his bed would be his Easter Gift. My son is a health food nut. So, candy was never an option. So his gifts would be a toy, or a dvd or something like that. One year, my son, decided he wanted this video gamer..I think it was nintendo? So he saved bottles and cans, put the thing on layaway(he has been able to get quite a bit and go places just from bottles and cans). He had paid for half of the unit with the bottles and cans. So we decided to pay for the other half, and got him a game to go with it. When he found it, the look on his face was PRICELESS!! That Easter morning has to be BEST EVER! What is yours?

Bullies

This is a topic I have started over and over, but deleated several times. But, then I thought, why not? So, here it goes....
I was watching an interview today, and someone said "Studies have shown bullies only bully 'unpopuliar kids'" I in turn said "NO! Say it isn't so! Are people THAT BLIND they NEED to do a study?! Sad...very very sad"
Here is why I say that. I am a parent of a child who has spent most of his life being bullied by his peers. From being physically hit, sucker punched, pushed, to others spitting in his food when he got up to get a napking or whatever and they mixed it into the food. Would you believe that a kid took the mouthpiece to his clarinet and put it down his own pants and returned it? It did. How gross is that? The result, my son is very shy, a home body really. He is affraid to put himself out there, and make new friends. A senior who doesn't want anything to do with school. Hates being there, but at the same time, he doesn't like to miss a class. He is very grade conscience, especially because he will be attending college in the fall. Altho, he lacks self confidence. Whenever we say something possitive, he always respond with "ahh you're just being nice." or "so and so is just agreeing with you".
In my experiences, bullying happens because it is allowed. These kids are not "the populiar kids" but are populiar for being bullies. These are the kids that have behavioral problems. They know who to pick on. Usually the ones who won't or can't fight back. We have what is called "No Child Left Behind Act" which overshadows "0 Tolerance" the school preaches. The result, the kids that want to do well, learn, are the ones who are left behind. Too many times, teachers are made to stop class, and wait until these kids settle down, never really addressing the problem. There have been times these kids threw furniture. I've always wondered whether or not these kids really have behavioral problems, or just not taught what is acceptable. I know that doesn't really happen in school. One of the things we've been told is that teachers cannot send kids to the principals office because it makes them look bad, and they could loose their jobs. Another thing I was told was "they are working behind the scenes" with these kids. Really? So is that suppose to make it OK that they don't address a situation or problem when it occures? Truth be told, because nothing is being done whether it be because the teacher is affraid of loosing their job, are "working behind the scenes", they are allowing the bullies to do what they do best.
Parents of bullied children/teens see what happens to other bullied children/teens, validating their fears as this issue has come to the forefront in the news. It is so sad that it had to take several tragic endings to make people realize how serious this issue is.